Your "ideal match" does not exist.
Sincerely,
Andrea
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Dear Sir,
Let me be more specific: Your ideal match (fun, outgoing, easygoing, good-natured, loves playing and watching sports, is athletic and toned and exercises 6-7 times per week, and is both driven and quick to relax) does not exist. NO ONE has all of these qualities all the time. Please consider expanding your search.
Sincerely,
Andrea the Realist
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Dear Sir,
It is considered polite to respond to emails that other members send you, even if you aren't interested in them. Pro Tip: most women would rather hear honesty (i.e., that you're not interested but thanks for the email) than silence. I can SEE that you opened my email, you know.
Sincerely,
Andrea, Part-Time Stalker
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Dear Sir,
So you're looking for a girl that is slender and toned, but also enjoys going out for a beer, dining out, and tailgate parties on a weekly basis. NEWS FLASH: this woman only exists in the toy aisle of your local supermarket or toy store. Heads-up, she's only about 14 inches tall. 99% of women do not have bodies that function this way. You'll have to pick one or the other - the hot body or the pursuit of food and drink. What about the other 1%, you say? Sure, stay the course, look for that girl that can do both, but I'll warn ya - you're going to be fighting off quite a few of your bros in the process. Best of luck to you. I'll be over there, waiting for you to realize that intelligence and kindness don't drop off sharply after middle age.
Sincerely,
Andrea "A Few Extra Pounds and Loves a Good Cocktail" Campo
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Dear Sir,
My profile clearly states that I am looking for men aged 22 to 34. Your profile says 59, divorced, and looking for a good time. HARD PASS.
Sincerely,
You're Older Than My Dad
P.S. Stop sending me winks. Don't think I won't call the cops.
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Dear Sir,
Updating your profile to say "sorry for my absence ladies, my girlfriend found out about my profile and I had to lay low for a bit" is EXACTLY the way to our hearts.
Sincerely,
Sarcasm Is a Virtue
Dear Sir,
......
Where are you?
Love,
Me. Just me.
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Dear Sir,
Yup, I'm sure. I'm NOT looking for a sugar daddy to have a "no strings fling." I don't care if you are independently wealthy. Who's younger, me or your daughter?
Sincerely,
Consider Yourself Blocked and Reported
P.S. You will find someone. Your life isn't over yet. But I can promise you that I don't go for that.
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