Guess what guys. I'm going to Honduras.
I have the opportunity to go to La Esperanza, Honduras during spring break as part of a team of doctors and optometrists. Obviously, they didn't want me for my skills with a stethoscope or an eye spoon, but rather for my ability to speak Spanish. As the physicians provide services to the people in the village of La Esperanza, I will be on hand to interpret.
I know I vowed never to travel abroad again, but something feels different about this. Maybe it's because it's only ten days instead of eighteen weeks. If you remember, that was pretty rough. If I don't like it, it's only ten days. I think I can handle that. Maybe it's that I've declined this trip for the last 4 years or so because I didn't feel confident enough in my ability to speak Spanish. Maybe it's that I can't stand snow and I especially can't stand a snowy spring break. I don't care that I won't be spending SB on a beach somewhere. I'll be content with the warmth and the sunshine.
I'm very thankful to all of the people who have contributed financially to this trip already. I'm about halfway there and I'm really relying on these donations because all of my money is going toward school right now. This trip won't be possible without the financial support and, more importantly, the prayer support from all of you. I'm excited about it. I'm nervous too, mostly because I still have to raise the second half of the funds, but I know that it'll happen. God provides. He provided the first half. Why wouldn't He provide the other half?
Since it's Thanksgiving, I'll list a few other things that I'm thankful for.
I'm thankful for my parents, who are allowing me to live at home rent-free and loaning me money for tuition.
I'm thankful for my brothers, who fix my technology problems and make me laugh.
I'm thankful for my friends, each of whom adds something special to my life and to me.
I'm thankful for grad school, and the ability to pursue a master's degree. I know that it's not an option for everyone, and I'm glad for the opportunity. I'm not always thankful for the boring classes, but I'm thankful for the people in them.
I'm thankful for books. Oh my heavens, books upon books. I love to read, I love to go to the library, I love my Goodreads account and keeping track of all the books I've read, and I love my Kindle. I don't care what all you staunch opponents of e-readers say. When I can't get my hands on a hard copy of the book I want and the Kindle version is available, I'll take it.
I'm thankful for my job as a nanny. It is a job that I never tire of. I never dread going to work. I wondered at the beginning if that would wear off eventually, but we're three months in, and I still love it. Tyler is my little man and lucky for me, he likes to snuggle. He always has a smile for me. My employers are wonderful too. There's nothing like a job where you know you're appreciated because your employers tell you so. It makes it an easy job to get up in the morning for.
And this may sound odd, but very deep down, I'm thankful for my depression. I know that doesn't make a lot of sense - why would anyone be thankful for depression? I would agree with you there. Some days, the thankfulness is much deeper down than other days. Here's why I'm thankful for depression: without it, I wouldn't have met so many great people, I wouldn't have met my wonderful therapist, I wouldn't have developed such an interest in helping other people with mental illness, and I wouldn't have learned how to understand. Understand people, understand situations, understand lifestyles, understand how you can be sad when so many things in your life are going well, understand how the color seeps out of the world when you're sad, understand how it seems impossible to get out of bed in the morning.
It's a different kind of thankful than the things I'm thankful in the previous paragraph. It's a hard thankful. It's not a warm and fuzzy thankful. It's the thankful that something good has come out of something terrible. The way you're thankful when someone you love is in Heaven and while you know you'll see them again, you hurt so bad that they're not here now. It's a painful thankful. It's the thankful that brings you closer to God and other people.
So whether your thankful is joyful, painful, or something else-ful, I wish you a happy Thanksgiving.
