This year....
January
- Packed up my life and moved to Denia, Spain for a semester abroad.
- First transatlantic flight, first time on another continent, first time in Europe, first time living with a family other than my own, first interim class, first immersion classroom experience. Lots of firsts. Too many all at once.
- Trip to Barcelona, Spain and the beginning of seven wonderful friendships.
February
· Began an independent study at a local school in Denia.
· Sem Pond jump! But in the infinitely warmer, non-frozen Mediterranean Sea.
· Purchased my first Spanish novel – Harry Potter y el Cáliz de Fuego. :)
· Ate pulpo (octopus) for the first time.
· Trip to Madrid, Segovia, and Toledo, Spain
March
· Trip to Grenada and Cordoba, Spain
· Trips to Paris, France, and Rome, Italy
· Fallas Celebration in Denia – basically, 10 days of fireworks, firecrackers, fire culminating in multi-story burning creations of wood and plaster
· Participated in my first photo shoot. Sort of. It was really just a bunch of us wandering around town while Alyssa snapped a billion photos.
April
· First Spring Break spent in a location other than Grandville, Michigan. Some people went to the UK, or Italy, or Paris….I went to the BEACH every day!
· Watched my very first sunrise. And over the Mediterranean Sea, no less.
· Started a blog. Sometimes I post silly things, sometimes I post serious things, but I always try to post things that are important. Things that I would want to read if I were you.
· Came to be okay with being in the lion’s den.
May
· Took – and PASSED – the Spanish Oral Proficiency Exam!!
· Passed all exams and classes and finished the academic portion of the semester abroad.
· Skinny-dipped in the Mediterranean Sea on the last night in Denia.
· “Welcome home.”
· Had a consultation with my ophthalmologist to determine if I was a candidate for LASIK vision correction surgery. I’m not.
· Memorial Day Weekend at the Conference Grounds. First time back after returning from Spain, and it was as fabulous as I was imagining it would be.
June
· The beginning of my fourth summer working at the Conference Grounds, kicked off by Special Needs Week!
· Air-conditioning installed in Amistad. Best thing ever.
· General shenanigans with roommates Jessica and Lindsey.
July
· My first (and only) success as a choreographer – Waka Waka (This Time for Africa), Middle School Week Lip Sync.
· Bizarre and scary events at the Grounds, difficult decisions to be made.
· Christmas in July party with the college staff. Bryant receives a toilet seat in the white elephant gift exchange.
August
· Computer screen broke. Bought new computer.
· Spain 2011 reunion! Even though only like, 8 people showed up, it was good to catch up and see everyone again.
· Saw the movie The Help. Best film of the year, in my opinion. It opened my eyes and changed my mind about a lot of things.
· Campo family reunion in Traverse City, Michigan. Drunk old people asking me WHO I’m doing instead of HOW I’m doing? Good lord.
September
· Moved into my first apartment (The Spanish House at Calvin College) the night before classes started. Funny story: I was in the process of moving stuff in and forgot my ID in my room on one of the trips, which meant I couldn’t get back into the building. I called one of my roommates (whom I had met, oh, 4 minutes earlier) and she picks up and says, “Uh, how did you get my number already??” “Well….when I friended you on Facebook…I saw your number listed and I put it in my phone as a precaution because I thought it might be a good idea…” Beginning of friendship with Jama Runkel.
· Beginning of fall semester and my tutoring job at Calvin’s Spanish Department
· Finally stopped fighting and denying and running away. I named my giants: Depression, anxiety, and obsessive-compulsive tendencies.
· ArtPrize 2011. Why have I not gone the other years?!
October
· Put myself on antidepressants.
· Celebrated my 22nd birthday by attending four classes, two review sessions, and a dinner with my family and grandparents.
· Began working at Burton Middle School with their after-school program promoting literacy and FUN.
· Family Fall Harvest Festival and general mayhem with Chelsey and Jessica.
November
· Learned how to roll my Rs. I can’t do it on command though, so don’t even ask.
· Pizza and breadsticks for Thanksgiving Dinner with Dad’s side – MUCH better than turkey.
· Continued to acclimate to my medication. Not an easy task.
· Developed an in-depth unit plan based on the Dirty War in Argentina. I’m really proud of it.
December
· After a billion papers, projects, and final exams….End of fall semester and FREEDOM.
· Moved back in at home after exam week.
· Refurnished, rearranged, and redecorated my room. Now it’s EXACTLY the way I want it.
· A week of Christmas and family members. And LOTS of food.
· New Year’s Eve spent with two cuties. They’re almost 3. :)
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Monday, December 26, 2011
It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year?
Oh, Christmas....I find you so very complicated.
For the past several years, I have not enjoyed Christmas (or most holidays, for that matter). In fact, I kind of dread it. Here's why: Most people are naturally excited and happy when it comes to Christmas. They go in for all the decoration, the snow, the lights, the food, the music, the people, everything. The Christmas spirit is just THERE, instinctively. I don't have any of that. The decorations make me sad, the snow makes me frustrated (though this is nothing new), the lights seem dim, the music is misleading, and while the food is pretty great, the rest of it is a facsimile of what it used to be.
Don't get me wrong: I am ALL about the core of Christmas. Jesus is my Savior. Christmas is the anniversary of his birth. It's a celebration of my Savior's birthday.
The problem is that society has made Christmas into a month-long happyfest; partially because we focus on things other than Jesus' birthday, partially because we feel the need to out-do ourselves every single year, and partially because we have the tendency to get caught up in things that ultimately don't matter. I wish it was okay for me to celebrate my birthday for an entire month. And if anyone deserves a month-long birthday celebration, it's Jesus. But by the time I get to Christmas Day, I am wiped out.
It is EXHAUSTING to pretend to be happy for twenty-five straight days. And yeah, I have to pretend I'm not depressed almost every day. But there's a difference - on those days, I just have to make it to neutral. During the month of Christmas, I have to push past neutral and pretend to be actively happy. If you've never had to do this before, I'll walk you through it: Think of all the people that you see during the month of Christmas (we really should just change 'December' to Christmasember). Now, chances are good that you see a good percentage of these people every year at Christmas. They are expecting you to be happy and joyful and full of Christmas spirit, just like every other year. This year, you find that that happiness/Christmas spirit just isn't there automatically. Shoot, son! Whatcha gonna do? You gotta convince all these people that nothing's changed...
Christmasember brings out happiness in most people, but it brings out sadness in me. Christmas brings so many reasons to be happy: family, friends, presents, vacation, parties, church, Jesus...but all of these things only serve to remind me of how I'm not intrinsically happy. And then I start to feel guilty - it's like, Why are you so unhappy? You should be happy! It's Christmas! Everyone else is happy, why aren't you? Be happy! BE HAPPY, YOU STUPID UNGRATEFUL GIRL!!
Thankfully, I gain a bit of wisdom with every year that passes. First of all, I am not the only person that this happens to. Just because everyone else SEEMS happy doesn't mean they are. A lot of people are carrying around baggage that they're working pretty hard to hide. They're not happy, but they're pretending to be because they don't know what else to do.
Second, it's okay to not be happy. No one can be happy all the time, especially during Christmasember. It's okay to admit that it's hard to be happy. I'm not a robot that can be programmed to Happy Mode, and maybe you aren't either.
Thirdly, knowing all of this, it's easier to understand and relate to other people that struggle with Christmasember. I've got a friend whose aunt died around Christmastime several years ago. She's reminded of it every year, and she doesn't like Christmas anymore. We kind of make a joke about it every year, but to me, it's one of the cornerstones of our friendship.
Maybe it's not so important how happy we are during the holidays. I think the more important thing is focusing on the birthday. Being thankful for Jesus' birth and remembering it and celebrating it on Christmas Day. We've pretty much buried the birthday in this day and age, but in the end, that's what it's all about. Birthday.
So yeah, I'm not happy all the time. And more and more, I'm becoming okay with it. But it was my Savior's birthday yesterday, and that will NEVER make me unhappy.
For the past several years, I have not enjoyed Christmas (or most holidays, for that matter). In fact, I kind of dread it. Here's why: Most people are naturally excited and happy when it comes to Christmas. They go in for all the decoration, the snow, the lights, the food, the music, the people, everything. The Christmas spirit is just THERE, instinctively. I don't have any of that. The decorations make me sad, the snow makes me frustrated (though this is nothing new), the lights seem dim, the music is misleading, and while the food is pretty great, the rest of it is a facsimile of what it used to be.
Don't get me wrong: I am ALL about the core of Christmas. Jesus is my Savior. Christmas is the anniversary of his birth. It's a celebration of my Savior's birthday.
The problem is that society has made Christmas into a month-long happyfest; partially because we focus on things other than Jesus' birthday, partially because we feel the need to out-do ourselves every single year, and partially because we have the tendency to get caught up in things that ultimately don't matter. I wish it was okay for me to celebrate my birthday for an entire month. And if anyone deserves a month-long birthday celebration, it's Jesus. But by the time I get to Christmas Day, I am wiped out.
It is EXHAUSTING to pretend to be happy for twenty-five straight days. And yeah, I have to pretend I'm not depressed almost every day. But there's a difference - on those days, I just have to make it to neutral. During the month of Christmas, I have to push past neutral and pretend to be actively happy. If you've never had to do this before, I'll walk you through it: Think of all the people that you see during the month of Christmas (we really should just change 'December' to Christmasember). Now, chances are good that you see a good percentage of these people every year at Christmas. They are expecting you to be happy and joyful and full of Christmas spirit, just like every other year. This year, you find that that happiness/Christmas spirit just isn't there automatically. Shoot, son! Whatcha gonna do? You gotta convince all these people that nothing's changed...
Christmasember brings out happiness in most people, but it brings out sadness in me. Christmas brings so many reasons to be happy: family, friends, presents, vacation, parties, church, Jesus...but all of these things only serve to remind me of how I'm not intrinsically happy. And then I start to feel guilty - it's like, Why are you so unhappy? You should be happy! It's Christmas! Everyone else is happy, why aren't you? Be happy! BE HAPPY, YOU STUPID UNGRATEFUL GIRL!!
Thankfully, I gain a bit of wisdom with every year that passes. First of all, I am not the only person that this happens to. Just because everyone else SEEMS happy doesn't mean they are. A lot of people are carrying around baggage that they're working pretty hard to hide. They're not happy, but they're pretending to be because they don't know what else to do.
Second, it's okay to not be happy. No one can be happy all the time, especially during Christmasember. It's okay to admit that it's hard to be happy. I'm not a robot that can be programmed to Happy Mode, and maybe you aren't either.
Thirdly, knowing all of this, it's easier to understand and relate to other people that struggle with Christmasember. I've got a friend whose aunt died around Christmastime several years ago. She's reminded of it every year, and she doesn't like Christmas anymore. We kind of make a joke about it every year, but to me, it's one of the cornerstones of our friendship.
Maybe it's not so important how happy we are during the holidays. I think the more important thing is focusing on the birthday. Being thankful for Jesus' birth and remembering it and celebrating it on Christmas Day. We've pretty much buried the birthday in this day and age, but in the end, that's what it's all about. Birthday.
So yeah, I'm not happy all the time. And more and more, I'm becoming okay with it. But it was my Savior's birthday yesterday, and that will NEVER make me unhappy.
Redecorating!!
Wow, you would think that once classes finished for the semester, I would have MORE time to write...
Well, let's see. I wrote a billion papers, took some exams, moved home, cleaned out my room, moved a weight machine out of my room, moved a dresser into my room, redecorated my room, updated the pictures on my wall, read several books, watched tv, watched movies, saw friends I hadn't seen in a while, went SHOPPING, entertained both sets of grandparents for dinner, hosted a poker night, celebrated Christmas...and maybe some other more insignificant things.
And because I am just so proud of the decorating and arranging and refurnishing I did in my room this vacation, I'm going to post some of the pictures I took with my brand new PINK camera. :)
Hi, welcome to my room.
Check this out. Homework on the laptop, and streaming Netflix on the second monitor!! Score.
Pictures...
BOOKS. I got rid of a TON of books. For the first time in many many years, All of my books fit on a shelf and don't have to be stacked in piles on the bottom shelf. However, a few of the shelves are stacked two deep...I just couldn't part with all of them. :)
One of my favorite verses. It kind of makes me think of how no matter where I live, no matter how far away I am from this bedroom, God's taking care of me and has a plan.
Wisdom and prayer wall. Prayer post-its are such a good idea, I don't know why it took me so long to think of it. A nice visual way to organize all my prayer requests.
Photos on top of my new dresser (technically, it's an OOOOLD dresser that used to belong to my grandma).
More pictures...
And my wall of affirmation. Whenever I need a little pick-me-up, I just read one of these. Wonderful encouragement from some wonderful people.
SUUUUUUUNNNNNN!!!!! I love the sun. If I could just have a direct line to the sun, I wouldn't need antidepressants. Maybe.
Well, let's see. I wrote a billion papers, took some exams, moved home, cleaned out my room, moved a weight machine out of my room, moved a dresser into my room, redecorated my room, updated the pictures on my wall, read several books, watched tv, watched movies, saw friends I hadn't seen in a while, went SHOPPING, entertained both sets of grandparents for dinner, hosted a poker night, celebrated Christmas...and maybe some other more insignificant things.
And because I am just so proud of the decorating and arranging and refurnishing I did in my room this vacation, I'm going to post some of the pictures I took with my brand new PINK camera. :)
Monday, December 5, 2011
Troubled Relationship
Some background:
I was in Education 307 today, pretending to be an 8th grader pretending to be in Language Arts class. The "teachers" (Elizabeth and Sarah) were covering different types of rhyme in song and poetry and at the end of the class, we had to try our own hand at writing a poem, either with rhyme or without it. The only requirements were that it had to be 6 lines long and about either falling in love or breaking up. The poem that follows is born out of the last several weeks I have endured.
"Troubled Relationship"
You make too many demands.
I feel like you've tied my hands.
I no longer recognize you.
I just can't take it anymore.
You've left my heart battered and sore.
Calvin College...we're through.
:)
I was in Education 307 today, pretending to be an 8th grader pretending to be in Language Arts class. The "teachers" (Elizabeth and Sarah) were covering different types of rhyme in song and poetry and at the end of the class, we had to try our own hand at writing a poem, either with rhyme or without it. The only requirements were that it had to be 6 lines long and about either falling in love or breaking up. The poem that follows is born out of the last several weeks I have endured.
"Troubled Relationship"
You make too many demands.
I feel like you've tied my hands.
I no longer recognize you.
I just can't take it anymore.
You've left my heart battered and sore.
Calvin College...we're through.
:)
Thursday, December 1, 2011
A Prayer for You, Kristi
I can't believe this is happening again. This can't be real. This CANNOT be real.
Girl, I am so sorry. I can't tell you that I know how you're feeling, because that would be a lie and not very helpful to you. Only people who have had cancer come back can truly feel the way you do right now. Cancer needs to go die.
I'm scared. You must be scared. I would be 500% surprised if you said that you weren't scared. But I'll tell you this - God knows what you need, when you need, and who you need. He knows how to take care of you and I am confident beyond a shadow of a doubt that He will carry you through all of this cancer mess. He'll do it. He WILL.
I'm gathering a crowd of people and we're going to storm the gates of Heaven with our prayers for you, okay? We're going to pray for your family, wisdom about what to do next, patience and endurance to deal with the frustrations, skill and wisdom for your doctors, comfort for the people that love you, healing for your body, relief from any sickness, support for you and your family, light for the dark times, peace for the scary times, understanding for the confusing times, rest for the exhausting times, and arms to hold you close during the times that just plain suck.
You got this. With God on your side, nothing will be impossible for you. Rest in God. Praying for you, always.
Love, Andrea
If you read this blog post, I ask that you pray for Kristi. She's 14, she's facing another difficult fight with cancer, but she's one of the bravest girls I know. Please join me in flooding the gates of Heaven with prayers for her and her family.
Girl, I am so sorry. I can't tell you that I know how you're feeling, because that would be a lie and not very helpful to you. Only people who have had cancer come back can truly feel the way you do right now. Cancer needs to go die.
I'm scared. You must be scared. I would be 500% surprised if you said that you weren't scared. But I'll tell you this - God knows what you need, when you need, and who you need. He knows how to take care of you and I am confident beyond a shadow of a doubt that He will carry you through all of this cancer mess. He'll do it. He WILL.
I'm gathering a crowd of people and we're going to storm the gates of Heaven with our prayers for you, okay? We're going to pray for your family, wisdom about what to do next, patience and endurance to deal with the frustrations, skill and wisdom for your doctors, comfort for the people that love you, healing for your body, relief from any sickness, support for you and your family, light for the dark times, peace for the scary times, understanding for the confusing times, rest for the exhausting times, and arms to hold you close during the times that just plain suck.
You got this. With God on your side, nothing will be impossible for you. Rest in God. Praying for you, always.
Love, Andrea
If you read this blog post, I ask that you pray for Kristi. She's 14, she's facing another difficult fight with cancer, but she's one of the bravest girls I know. Please join me in flooding the gates of Heaven with prayers for her and her family.
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