# 003

Sometimes I wonder
Somewhere along the line
Did I make the wrong decision?

What if I had picked a different school
a different city
a different apartment
a different church
a different grad school
a different program
a different career
a different college
a different summer job
a different sport
a different extracurricular activity
a different group of friends

Does the answer lie at the end of one those trails?
Was it a single decision
a pattern of decisions
a lifetime of decisions
I guess what it really comes down to is this -

Can one decision change the course of your entire life?

What if I had applied to jobs outside of West Michigan?
moved out
moved away
moved on
It certainly worked for other people
Do I have to move away to find what they have?

Maybe I should have given teaching a better try
my life could have looked very different

Or what if I had chosen a different career entirely
A career where adults aren't outnumbered eighteen to one

Or what if
(the what-ifs will kill ya, kid)
I had made different choices in college
the dorms
the meal plan
the student life
the piles of opportunities to make friends
to meet people
All those conclusions

foregone

receding in the rearview

Perhaps it goes even further

all the way back

to the friends I made in middle school

one deviation

and my story could have been one of 

high school sweethearts

(do I even want that? probably not. 

But people don't coo over "27 and engaged to her career.")

Someone wise once told me that 

whatever decision I make will be the right decision. 

But how can I be sure? Is it ever that simple?

(I'll take "Things That Keep Me Awake at Night" for 200, Alex.)