Things That Are Awkward: Wedding Edition

New series! "Things That are Awkward!" I'm sure I'll be able to get a LOT of mileage out of this one. :) Plus, it was time to get a light-hearted and funny post.

Disclaimer: These are GENERAL things that I have found awkward about weddings. These observations in no way belong to any particular wedding that I have attended in the last few years.

1. Pastors that deliver a sermon specifically tailored to the two people that are getting married. I find that awkward because then it's like this pastor is talking directly to these two people (who, most of the time, have their back to the congregation), and the rest of the people in attendance are just kind of...eavesdropping.

2. Greeting/thanking someone in the receiving line by the wrong name because you have no idea how they are now related to you.

3. Couples that dance ON each other instead of WITH each other. I don't CARE if you are married. Keep it classy.  Don't subject us to that. At least act like you have some control over yourselves.

4. Guests that a) under-dress, b) over-dress, or c) slut-dress. Let me spell it out for you: if your outfit is jeans+wife-beater, fancier than the bride's dress, or a negligee, you will be forcibly ejected from my wedding. By me. And/or my bouncer.

5. This is not characteristic of any weddings that I personally have attended, but it's pretty awkward when the bride wears white when EVERYONE knows that she shouldn't be. But rules were made to be broken, right?

6. When the ceremony takes place at a church with steps up to the pulpit, you have to stagger your attendants. Not just one per step, but make sure that they don't stand in a straight line. Otherwise, a short attendant on a lower step will end up have the next person's back and/or butt at their eye-level, and that's pretty awkward.

7. Stuffing cake in your new husband or wife's face and smearing it everywhere upon cutting the cake. Men especially should not do this. You have just ruined about three hours worth of meticulously applied makeup. Again, keep it classy.

8. Couples in attendance at the reception that stand way too close to each other. Yeah, we get it, you are a couple. You don't need to stand so close together, especially when talking in a group. It's just as bad as having sex in front of us, in my opinion. And for heaven's sake, STOP "stealing kisses" from each other. "Stealing kisses" by nature is done in SECRET. Kissing constantly in front of all of us is called exhibitionism.

Stay tuned for more Things That Are Awkward. :)